Okay - so I skipped another day. "A bit of cheat she is", I guess you are saying right about now.
But.... yesterday was one of those days when I was glad to just still be breathing.
I am still reeling, bereaving the onslaught of another birthday and one might say "Get over it!" "Move on!" "Be glad you are alive!"
Yes agreed. Gratitude is a virtue to be cultivated daily and don't think I haven't tried, but one should also not under estimate the devastating power of depression to color even the sunniest sky a whirling cesspool of darkness. Such was my day. I am slowly climbing out of it. See I'm here again reporting on my daily travails.
Two good things have helped me mightily: one my group therapy which I swore I wanted to quit because it triggers all sorts of childhood trauma. But it also allows for cathartic venting, rage and the support of others who actually reach down and pull me up out of the darkened hole and back into the sunlight. Yeah group! The other is my haircut and little bit of color which let me pretend for a bit longer that I'm not yet the gray haired crone. Not yet. Yeah haircut and colorist!
But.... yesterday was one of those days when I was glad to just still be breathing.
I am still reeling, bereaving the onslaught of another birthday and one might say "Get over it!" "Move on!" "Be glad you are alive!"
Yes agreed. Gratitude is a virtue to be cultivated daily and don't think I haven't tried, but one should also not under estimate the devastating power of depression to color even the sunniest sky a whirling cesspool of darkness. Such was my day. I am slowly climbing out of it. See I'm here again reporting on my daily travails.
Two good things have helped me mightily: one my group therapy which I swore I wanted to quit because it triggers all sorts of childhood trauma. But it also allows for cathartic venting, rage and the support of others who actually reach down and pull me up out of the darkened hole and back into the sunlight. Yeah group! The other is my haircut and little bit of color which let me pretend for a bit longer that I'm not yet the gray haired crone. Not yet. Yeah haircut and colorist!
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