OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Twenty Two IMAGINATION

Think of it the ability to image beyond ourselves into liminal realm of the unknown.   It is an essential tool for survival.   I spent all of last night reading about aggression, homicide, and violent imagery - all important realities which confront art therapists, especially young new ones working in prisons and juvenile facilities and psychiatric hospitals.   I was preparing for my class tonight, which.....you guessed it!...I had to cancel because I spent a third day in bed.   I am much better thank you, even able to eat a bowl of soup with chips and take my ancient dog for a stroll, but standing for any extended period is really above and beyond.  There is always tomorrow....

As I was saying imagination; the ability to symbolize; what the child in the poem The Land of Counterpane is able to do, is often lacking in children who have been so deprived and traumatized that imagining or symbolizing is so threatening that they just can't do it, they can't play except to repeat what has been done to them (brutality or neglect) and they often grow up uninterested or unable to read or be interested in ideas or language.  The language and culture of violence is action, most often impulsive action.  Youthful murders and gang members often have less ability for academic learning and more brain damage than others.

I teach my students that we support the creation of violent images (within limits).  Little kids, young adolescent boys, lots of teens like weapons and violent images. The less censorship there is the more therapeutic.  But we also promote the exploration of the image, the feeling, the impulse to create provocative and threatening objects.  Exploration of meaning, and perhaps alternatives, leads to better self understanding and expanded ability for symbolization - more trust in one's own mind to create safe images.   Without this exploration - which can lead to what we call "sublimation" of the violent impulse in to something productive, beautiful, good feeling - the creation of violent images can just be practicing for violent acts - bullying, gang banging, suicide, and murder.

I have lovely memories of my own imaginary play with my siblings and of my children with their small friends digging tunnels in the yard at Cape Cod as the sun is setting and they are fighting dragons.

Play is child's work.  Of that there is no doubt.   Too bad those in power can't go back to nursery school.

There I've just given my lecture for the night!

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Twenty One SITTING IN BED

I did everything from my bed today - phone calls, listening to Trump's surreal tweets and recent sexual scandals on the radio, all e-mails and course work.  I even watched TV.  The marvels of owning a lap top computer.   What would I have done in yesteryear?   Stare out the window, read, knit...  I am reminded of the Robert Louis Stevenson poem:

The Land of Counterpane

When I was sick and lay a-bed, 

I had two pillows at my head, 

And all my toys beside me lay, 

To keep me happy all the day. 

And sometimes for an hour or so 

I watched my leaden soldiers go, 

With different uniforms and drills, 

Among the bed-clothes, through the hills; 

And sometimes sent my ships in fleets 

All up and down among the sheets; 

Or brought my trees and houses out, 

And planted cities all about. 

I was the giant great and still 

That sits upon the pillow-hill, 

And sees before him, dale and plain, 

The pleasant land of counterpane. 

Robert Louis Stevenson

The Land of Counterpane by Jessie Wilcox Smith from A Child's Garden of Verses

Stevenson was a sickly child born to an Edinburgh, Scottish engineering family.  His early experience of spending hours in bed may very well have lead to his becoming a writer instead of following in the family tradition.   Day spent in bed can have pleasant memories like this poem, but what is hidden is the heartache of a sickly child who can't run and play with the others.   I am ever grateful that for now I am not permanently consigned to bed - just for a few days of much needed respite.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Twenty SICK DAY

Today I woke up sick.  I went to bed feeing great, having walked again for the first time in months and having started doing my stretching and exercising again.   But I was cold all night and by morning I realized it wasn't the temperature outside it was that I had a fever and I could barely stand up.

What to do?  Tea, water, Tylenol, repeat... and cancel all appointments.  What was the good in this?  Not much really, except that I realize I am starting to slow down after a super busy fall and that free floating virus, which has been knocking my students out, has finally caught up with me.

When I was little my father often recognized "mentally sick in the head" days as times when we just needed to be quiet and catch up with ourselves.   My own body is forcing this on me.   In those few moments when I was able to keep my head up I did some knitting and binged watched most of the second season of Stranger Things.   Kind of perfect viewing when sick with a virus.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Eighteen CHRIST the KING DAY

Today is the last Sunday of Pentacost - which is the season in the liturgical calendar when the spirit of God - like flames of fire or a mighty wind - enters the hearts and minds of the apostles so that they are confirmed in their belief of Christ as the son of God.   It marks the beginnings of the Christian church approximately seven weeks or fifty (penta) days from the rising of Christ at Easter Sunday.

This day is also known as Christ the King Day.  The following Sunday will begin Advent which is the anticipation of the birth of Christ.   Below is a classic sermon reading for this day:

MATTHEW 25:31-46

"Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’"

Interpreted this means that God expects us to treat all of our neighbors as brothers and sisters whom we would house, feed, clothe or visit in their illness or confinement in prison.   

‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ - tells us that treating all others well is to be treating God well as God dwells in all of us.   The pastor at our church made this point today as important to remember in these polarized times.   Just as with tonglen, the Buddhist exercise for compassion, we need to remember compassion and understanding for those whom we disagree with politically.  It seems a tall order, but perhaps the only way forward in the face of so much political destruction.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Seventeen TONGLEN

In a world where we appear to be polarized between democrat and republican, far right and far left, rich and poor; where anger and hatred are fulminated by the very leadership we are supposed to depend upon there is a need for a way to feel compassion for ourselves as well as our enemies. 

The Buddhists have such a practice which they call Tonglen.   The Dalai Lama practices tonglen daily toward the Chinese who have oppressed and exiled the Tibetan people for decades now.

It is a simple meditation practice, but one that may take a little practice.   Basically you breath in the suffering, hatred, rage, anger etc.... which you may feel toward another - and visualize this as a thick black smoke entering your lungs and heart.   Then in response you breath out from the heart love, compassion and light.   This can be surprisingly calming in response to many of the ugly little indignities of life and can stop you in your tracks from acting impulsively.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Sixteen MODEL TRAINS

So we have a new holiday ritual now.   One that I was never aware of even after being a New Yorker for some 30+ years....Model Trains at the Botanical Gardens.  What a spectacle!   Not only were there model trains moving through the lush tropical gardens of the conservatory building, all in a G gauge or large scale, but the trains wended past and through realistic recreations of NY landmark buildings all built from bark, twigs, moss and seed pods from the Gardens.    This is an experience of pure delight, especially when surrounded by holiday trees dressed for the season in snowflakes, lights and stars.

Thanks to out of town visitors from California - or we would have never gone!

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Fifteen GIVING THANKS

Around our table our children, our good friend George and his children, my sister and her spouse, and a few significant others.  As much as the world appears upside down and insane, there is nothing more grounding than sitting at the table together and giving thanks.

That to my mind is one of the very best things.

ODT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Fourteen FOLLOWING RECIPES

Martha Stewart is my new BFF - again.   My family is still reeling from the whirlwind I became in the kitchen today.  Martha's book "Pies and Tarts" has the same seductive photographs as all of her publications and it is too difficult to choose which pies to make so I tried make them all.   In the process I had a lot of first as the kitchen sink piled up with silver bowls and measuring spoons and the pie crusts came in and out of the oven.  There is nothing more satisfying than following a recipe and actually succeeding.   

I made lemon curd for the first time.   I learned how to use parchment paper and dry beans to weight down a crust during its pre-bake.   I made chocolate ganache and a chocolate pie crust, graham cracker crust and caramel from scratch.   But probably the most exciting thing of all was browning the meringue topping on the lemon curd.    It usually calls for a blow torch.   I used to broiler.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Nineteen THE WALK

Weeks  have lapsed.  No more like months since I've taken up the the walk again.   Today despite the "list" of "must do's" following Thanksgiving break my morning client cancelled and I put on my walking shoes and headed for the door.   The air was crisp.  I wore my gloves. A breeze was up and my wind curtains were dancing in the wind.   Nearly a year ago on MLK Day this blog began on "the walk" when I realized the positive benefits of airing the brain and exercising the body daily.  What a delight to return to the path again and again and renew its power.

I think you have noticed I have taken a break, but I continue to think of OTG daily and am ever grateful for this gratitude practice.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Thirteen ME TOO

A great big round of applause and appreciation to Representative Ann Kuster of NH for co-sponsoring the ME TOO bill opposing sexual harassment in Congress.  She was brave enough to finally speak about sexual abuse she experienced in her early twenties after listening to DT brag about his assault of women on the Access Hollywood Tapes.  She was fondled by another celebrity who grabbed her where she should not have been touched.  This was in the late 60's by Dr. Christian Barnard the famous South African heart surgeon who accomplished to first heart transplant surgery.

As Ann Kuster said on the news tonight, "I didn't tell anyone because it was wasn't spoken about then.  I wouldn't have known what to say or who to tell."   But now women feel unafraid and we aren't going to take it anymore.  This extends from every celebrity, athlete, and politician who thinks they can get away with it including Mr. President.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Twelve PRESENCE in ENCOUNTERING

Much of my weekend of training was spent working on presence.   Therapeutic presence to be precise, and it could often be quite difficult.  Yet these difficulties generally stem from our own internal road blocks; our own ego which keeps us from really seeing the other being in our presence.

This video speaks of the magic possible in being present in the world.

Enjoy!

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Eleven PIES and TARTS

In anticipation of Thanksgiving I have been studying Martha Stewart's PIES and TARTS; chocolate caramel, banana and coconut, walnut and honey, pumpkin cheesecake, pumpkin spice, pumpkin chocolate, endless variations of pumpkin....my mouth is watering already....

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Ten BODY MEMORY

Thank goodness for the bodies ability to store memory and for the bodies ability to find ways in which to heal from those memories some of which are not so pleasant or easy to tolerate.  I am am speaking of traumatic memory here - which involves procedural memory or the bodies memory of unconscious movements made in the face of physical or emotional harm.   This has been the focus of our work this weekend in Connecticut where I am at training.  This could be as complex as veteran who is thrown up into the air following a bomb blast in Iraq or a simple as a little girl gagging on her food because her mother is yelling at the dinner table.   For the former I refer to an instance of a young man who developed a disabling body tic like Tourette's around the inability to orient himself while being thrown into the air.   In our work with Somatic Experiencing we watched the founder Peter Levine help this young man slow the movement down so that it became less frozen.   The latter refers to myself and my own issues around swallowing and eating too fast, which I'm realizing are now somewhat anxiety produced.   This is powerful work and I am grateful.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdUnCj05RMs

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Nine SURPRISE PARTY

While a surprise party can surely backfire and cause rancor if plans are to elaborate and too much deception is involved, sometimes a spontaneous, well time white lie can result in a joyful moment that increases someone sense that they are loved and cared for.   We - my kids, siblings, friends and I managed to pull this off today for my husband.  He was fifty-nine. Not a landmark birthday and so the perfect time to pull the wool over his oft critical eyes.   He spent the week in Eeyore mode saying, "Well the best thing of al would be to not celebrate my birthday."  I know a contradictory message when I hear one.  The biggest trick for me was how to explain that his giant fishing cooler had spontaneously been spirited away to my sister's where the party awaiting - with the ruse that he needed to help her with a chore.  Thank fully he never asked, but he tromped up the stairs at the appointed hour ready to work only to be greeted with multiple hugs and surprises.

A little consideration, a little thought for others makes all the difference. 

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Eight INSIGHT MEDITATION

Joseph Goldstein's book Insight Meditation has been a huge influence in my life and meditation practice.  I remember reading it on the subway three years ago and how his simple explanation of the four golden truths of Buddhism allowed me to see right there on the subway car humanity in all its ugliness and beauty as well as compassion for my self and other people.  Its a matter of letting go to the inevitable.  Not working so hard.  Living and letting live.

1- Life is suffering

2- Suffering comes from desire

3- To practice non-attachment/non-desire can eliminate suffering

4- The way to achieve this is through right living - not killing, stealing, lying, committing sexual violence, using substances.


While few are capable of achieving Nirvana through this path, many can achieve benefits from following these basic concepts.  I don't call myself a Buddhist, but I certainly benefit from their wisdom.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Six HONESTY

Jeff Sessions in front of House Intelligence Committee - this is not what honesty looks like??   No this is what selective amnesia looks like.

In contrast it's refreshing to see the young people I work with who are so honest with themselves and coming into their own; choosing lifestyles that bode well for the future; wearing second hand clothing, growing their own vegetables; accepting non-binary gender identity; becoming politically involved; making things by hand....

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Seven BELIEF

Having some one listen to you and believe your story can be the most healing salve.   This is the theme of many of my art therapy classes this semester.  To be able to speak a truth which has been denied and made you feel crazy can change a life.   So many young people I have worked with literally did not have the words to articulate the truth of their inner experience and thus did not believe in their own worth.  Sometimes those words come through pictures or clay first and the transformation can be miraculous.

I can only imagine the relief of those who are following the lead of the "Me Too" campaign; the victims of Harvey Weinstein; Roy Moore and how many more?

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Five WIND of CHANGE

I know I have written on this subject before, but with tomorrow being a week after the now momentous 11-7-17 elections I think it's in order.   It's 60 days until I have written this blog for a year.   Change is inevitable as the current political situation is untenable.  We've all become activists and more and more women will be going into positions of political power.  Winds of change are coming with the first breath of winter.  My wind curtains were carried high by the winds today.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Four CEREMONY

I had the great honor of being invited to witness an Eagle Scout Ceremony today.    Though I was vaguely aware this is the highest rank which can be achieved by a Boy Scout I had no idea it was such a big deal.

There were more politicians than family and audience in this small auditorium in south Yonkers.
The newly elected county executive, the past Democratic county executive, represents from both the Yonkers city council and the Westchester County board of legislators, as well as letters from Governor Coumo and the National Boy Scout office all praising this young 17 year old whom I have known for several years.

Presidents, athletes, astronauts, captains of industry, actors, lawyers and judges -- Gerald Ford, Hank Aaron, Bill Bradley, Neil Armstrong, Richard Gere, Jimmy Stewart, Alberto Salazar - have all received this honor and gone on the lead productive lives of public service.

My young friend was fitted with neckerchiefs and pins and badges and belt buckles and salutations and proclamations indicating November 12th to be his day in Westchester County.   It will no doubt be a ceremony and day he will remember always.   While I often eschew ceremony in some ways I realize the value of the ritual to "make special" ; to mark the passage of an event; to give meaning to the march of our days - baptism, communion, graduation, birthdays, wedding, funerals - the cycle of life remembered, photographed savored so that we are momentarily more than just a tiny blip in the map of the cosmos.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Three VETERANS

I saw Santa today.  He was waiting patiently to enter the the Fifth Avenue Veteran's Day Parade in Manhattan.  I wove my way through the police and fire trucks that lined the route.

No one deserves a parade more than our veterans.   Kudos to those who have sacrificed to keep our democracy real and vital; from those who've died on the battlefield to those who have worked quietly behind the scenes.  Both of my grandfathers were veterans.  But for their actions I would not be sitting here now.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and Two ART CARDS

Once upon a time several years ago my sister and I started an art card group as a way for a group of our artist friends to share art with each other.  It's a nice way to make something small and beautiful and send that out in to the world.  This art card group is still in existence today with some of the original members and many new ones, but my sister and I have moved on to other endeavors.   

At one point however I was organizing the group online and sending everyone monthly themes.  It was delightful to see how each person would interpret an idea like "Blue Skies" or "Lucky Numbers."

One of my favorites was haiku as I am a fan of Issa and other classic Japanese poets.

Just recently my friend Janet was visiting and gave me a precious gift.  It was the haiku and image created by my dear friend Claudia who passed away almost a year ago in early December 2016.

The painting shows her country home in Hudson, NY where we visited when our children were very small and they all ran and played in the woods together.  She and her husband eventually had to sell the house.

Here is her haiku:

Traipse through our past haven

Open fields, steep green woods, creek

Sojourn sad and sweet

---- Claudia Steinberg, circa 2011 ----

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred and One ARTIFACTS

Sixty four days to completion!   Shall I continue daily or go to OGT WEEKLY?

Yesterday I had a long lunch break from a day of teaching at NYU and took a stroll down the Bowery to The New Museum.

There I saw an interesting show about gender: TRIGGER: Gender as Tool and Weapon.

I also discovered their new south galleries where I saw the work of Petrit Halilaj a native of Kosovo who created a narrative installation around the unearthing and loss of ancient pot shards, arrowheads and other artifacts that could tell the story of pre-historic Serbo-Croatian peoples.   Due to war and incompetence many of these artifacts were just thrown away thus erasing pieces of a past for this war ravaged country which is already fragmented in narrative history.

Halilaj reimagines the artifacts as pot shaped ceramic birds which are transient and ephemeral like the memory and existence of history and artifacts which prove its existence.

Poetic moving work accompanied by a complex video installation which mimics the complexity of storytelling.

OGT DAILY Day Three Hundred WOMEN CANDIDATES

The future is female!   According to the Chicago Tribune only 17 of the 100 members of the Virginia House of Delegates were women before Tuesday.   The number almost doubled to thirty and the expectation is that those figures will only grow with subsequent elections.   Women are running for office in record numbers since the presidential election of 2016.   A projected 40 women are running for governor around the country in 2018 and numerous others for congressional seats.

Danica Roehm has been elected as the first openly transgender member of the House of Delegates.  She ran against an incumbent conservative who openly opposed same sex marriage and refused to acknowledge Roehm's gender identity.   Jennifer Carrol Foy felt such, "fear and anger and frustration" with the anti-women agenda of the Trump administration that she decided to run for office.  Two weeks after she announced her candidacy she also discovered she was pregnant with twins.  During the primaries in Sept she was put on bed rest and her husband stood in campaigning at the polls in her stead.   When the twins were born too early at 1.5 pounds each, she and her husband still campaigned and canvassed and then went to the NICU at night to be with their boys.   And she won!   This id democracy and bravery at work.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/politics/ct-election-women-democrats-20171108-story.html

OGT DAILY Day Two Hundred and Ninety Nine VICTORY

Is sweet!!! And "revenge is a dish best served cold."   Meaning the victory is all the sweeter when it wasn't entirely expected.  This is the case with the 60%-40% Democratic win in Virginia for governor.   Especially when Trump is right now playing with fire by saying inflammatory things about North Korea while in spitting distance of its borders.

Go Northem and Danica Roehm! - the first transgender candidate to run and win in a governmental position.  Her homophobic conservative opponent was sure he'd wrapped it up with his "bathroom bill" and his grotesque comments about gay people.  Truly astounding!

OGT DAILY Day Two Hundred and Ninety Eight SUFFRAGE

One hundred years ago today women of New York state were granted the right to vote.   This is nearly seventy years after the suffragettes in Seneca Falls first began the battle for the women's vote.  It seems auspicious as we go into a most important county election tomorrow here in Westchester County and NY state.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/06/nyregion/new-york-today-a-century-of-women-voting.html?_r=0

Quotes for Elizabeth Cady Stanton:

"Come, come, my conservative friend, wipe the dew off your spectacles, and see the world is changing."

"Women's discontent increases in direct proportion to her development."

"Nothing strengthens the judgment and quickens the conscience like individual responsibility." 

OGT DAILY Day Two Hundred and Ninety Seven MINDFULNESS

Ellen Langer is a social psychologist who began playing with notions of mindfulness way back in the 1970's before it had become such a "buzz word".  Her ideas had little to do with meditation and Buddhism and more to do with practicality.  She stresses the difference between mindfulness and "mindlessness."   The latter being going about life without goals or plans for what we are doing.   She approaches mindfulness quite simply by suggesting one begins to notice things in their life more carefully and slowly.   This noticing can be of things or persons with who we are accustomed, and even perhaps a little tired of - say a spouse.   Noticing things, people, and problems in a different light can change them in our minds.

Noticing and seeing are very Buddhist concepts but Langer does not have meditation in mind.  She is really approaching every day with the beginners eye - fresh eyes - so that our rigid ideas about things do not get in the way of finding new solutions to the problems of living.

As usual I had the delight of waking up in Sunday to Krista Tippet's show On Being and this is what I learned.  If you ask a group of students what 1 + 1 equals they will scoff and say, "Two of course," but what if you have one piece of gum and add it to another?  They make one whole and so the answer is not always two.   Langer gives an example of studies with cleaning women who suffered from obesity and diabetes until they were told that the work they were doing was exercise.  Suddenly their attitude was to be more active and their rates of illness went down. 
Interesting perspective and reinforces my beliefs in the power of positive thinking.

How is that for one good thing?

Another is the 140 calls I made this morning for George Latimer our democratic candidate for county executive.   Vote on Tuesday!

OGT DAILY Day Two Hundred and Ninety Six PEG LOOM

I am learning new things about weaving every day.   I thought I had seen most forms of looms, but today I found another.

The peg loom is not a traditional loom at all but a series of pegs through which you weave your yarns and then just pull your warp through.  It's so simple really that you hardly have to work at all and can just sit there making these rhythmic movements, changing colors as you please, until a rug suddenly appears below you.

Commonly used in Navajo culture, they are really easy and cheap to make as well as to use.
This is what I made in a workshop today:

OGT DAILY Day Two Hundred and Ninety Five MOGOA CAVES

I am the fortunate recipient of a manuscript painting from the region of the Mogoa Caves in Dunhuang, China. 

Mogoa means "peerless" and this cache of Buddhist treasures, 1700 years old, which were buried under the sands of the Gobi Desert, are indeed peerless.  The vision of a monk named Yuezen in 366 C.E, he imagined a cave of "a thousand radiant buddhas carved into the hill" and began excavating the caves which were then all carved by hand.  Over the centuries they became buried under the desert sands until they were unearthed by a Daoist monk Wang Yuanlu in the 1890's.  He discovered a  much more than buddhas - thousands of manuscripts, silk banners and paintings in addition to monumental statues and buddhas of every nature and size.   This region along the Silk Road was the portal through which Buddhist philosophy came to China, but also mixed with Daoism, Christianity, Confucian, Sanskrit as well as Tibetan and Turkish texts to form a melting pot of faiths and a treasure trove of art.   The worlds oldest known printed book, the Diamond Sutra, was found here.

The painting is a gift from my friend Chen, a visiting scholar at NYU, who has been observing my classes.   Lucky me.  Maybe some day I'll ride a camel out the the caves myself.

http://blogs.getty.edu/iris/14-facts-cave-temples-dunhuang/

The Diamond Sutra - oldest known printed book