It's been a long time and I have been avoiding it, but yesterday I was able to get back into the mess making necessary to the artistic process. I fear it actually sometimes because there's an internal pressure to produce; make something of value. But that inner pressure and voice settles once I begin to engage the process of mixing the paint, slopping it allover the tables and my hands, having to change into my painting paints and old work shirts.
There's a slouching into this that has to occur, a letting go and part of me does fear this because letting go and cracking open the creative process is an unknown - a risk. It is one thing to have an image in your head of where you might go and you need that of course in order to prepare your studio, your material, mix the colors you might need. But with me that vision tends to morph, shrivel, shift, or disappear entirely once I begin. This leaves a dark uncharted path into nothingness within which you must exert muscles to shape a "something."
Once I learn to trust the actions of mixing and painting and asking myself instinctually "What comes next? What should I do with this shape ot object or color" - then things begin to evolve and move. It is always a slower process than I anticipate and what comes out might disappoint and exhaust me or may reward and surprise me.
As they say "you can's make an omelette without breaking a few eggs." Those initial failed attempts may be precious broken eggs or experiments which are the gateway to "seeing" what I feel drawn to express.
Making mess is vitally important - but then there is the flip side: Cleaning my studio of all the clutter and messes! Where is Marie Kondo?
What kind of mess did you get into today?
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